I haven’t posted for a week. As each day has gone by since last Saturday, I’ve found myself feeling guilty and discouraged about not posting. After all, I had made a commitment to myself that I would not hide my light under a bushel anymore. I had come to realize that maybe I did have something of worth and value to share with others, even something as simple of some daily affirmation or inspiration.
My routine for reflection and writing occurs when I first wake up. Usually there is some lingering thought left over from a dream that inspires or provokes my imagination. I believe that those thoughts are given to me to share with you at that precise point in time. After all, when you are meant to know something, it will become made known to you. So, unlike others who post daily, I don’t write a bunch of posts and then time them to automatically be posted each day. While that system works well for many others, I just can’t seem to harness my thoughts or be inspired ahead of the time that they become made known to me in my dreams.
So what happened? Well, this week I began teaching an intensive two week, 5 hours a day class. The class begins at 7:30 a.m. Due to the nature of the class, the distance I live from where I am teaching, and the preparation required to teach for 5 straight hours each day, I have had to rise and shine very early…..much earlier than my typical 6 or 6:30 a.m. rise and shine time.
And therein, lies the problem…. at least for another week. My morning routine of fueling my thoughts through the daily morning ritual of reflecting on the seeds of inspiration planted while I sleep was interrupted. And, guess what….it’s OK!
For these two weeks, one past and one to come, to do my best, to be my best, and to make the difference that I am called to make, my focus must be on those 17 students who walk into the classroom every day to learn from me….because they have chosen to take a class that also was created because of a dream. It’s a class on what it is to CARE. It’s a class on how to be caring, how to become caring, and how to create caring relationships through which people feel that you care. Because if you can do that, you can teach people, reach people, motivate people, help people, heal people, inspire people, love people, and care for people. It’s also a class that includes a thorough understanding of who you are, how you are, and how that’s working for you.
So rather than spending a few minutes writing a post that you may or may not read, my intention and energy has shifted to those students, to my calling in this work, and to honing the craft of empowering others to care in preparation for taking that out into the world.
Lesson learned? Don’t beat yourself up. When you find yourself letting yourself down, not following through on your commitments even if they are only to yourself, consider the why. Perhaps you are being called or required to do something else at the time that has the potential to make an even greater impact than that which you intended. Perhaps, you need to step back and reassess your priorities to see if they align with what is becoming made known to you.
Or perhaps, you need to begin or get back to a morning ritual where that which you are meant to know will become made known to you through stillness, reflection, movement….and the remnants of your dreams. There is wisdom to be found there.